Empty

When I had everything, I still felt a cavity.

I was grateful to have been blessed to have gotten all the desirable entities I wished to have some day. But, a hunk of me didn’t cook on those flames of expected happiness. It was a strange feeling that left me perplexed as to why, even though everything I wished for was now in front of me, I was still unable to feel the way my expectations expected me to feel.

I tried to ignore the hunch, but I was reckless, thirsty to know the answer to my quest. I wanted a refutation of why I was feeling what I was feeling. Days kept passing by. There seemed to be no hope. Meanwhile, self judgement stepped in.

I felt disgusted with the thought of me not being happy. It became difficult to feel. I kept denying my sadness in the context of ‘I have everything’. I would fancy a happy smile and strive to act cheery.

But some part of me wasn’t yet ready to accept the things I was doing to fool myself. You know, we all seem to have our own miniature types in our heads who help guide us through our quandaries. I could sense them popping up and debating my situation…

Stay tuned to read what’s next!

@Priyanshi Anand